Oh, Mary. For generations, we have marveled at your (apparently) easy and gracious acceptance of the angel’s shocking proclamation: that you would have a baby out of wedlock – God’s very own child – and that the Spirit, not your betrothed husband Joseph, would be the Father.
What did you think when you saw that angel? What emotions stirred in you when you heard those words? Did you gasp, amazed that you would be chosen to be mother of the long-awaited Messiah? Did you imagine the gossip and inevitable derision from your family and neighbors, as you bore a child without benefit of marriage? Did you wonder if Joseph would spit on you and walk away?
Did your heart leap with joy and anticipation? With fear and doubt? All at the same time? Perhaps you, as any girl would have, felt an intense mix of emotions and thoughts.
After all, even your flawless son, the Son of God, wrestled with fear and doubt when push came to shove. A few short days before his death, he vacillated between wanting to move toward the cross for God and His people, and wanting that particular cup of suffering to be removed from Him, without having to taste its unspeakable horrors.
But in the end, He chose His Father’s way: “Not my will, but yours.” Just as you had chosen, decades earlier, God’s life-changing, earth-shattering call to bear His Son.
I’ve never heard a word from an angel, like you have. But God has spoken to me through His word, in prayer, through insights and images, preparing me, comforting me, warning me, guiding me. My desire is that my faith in Him would win out over my fears of the future - like it did with you. That, even though I don’t know the specifics of what's coming, I can say to Him, “I’m your servant, Lord. I will trust you even when I don’t understand. Whatever you’ve got down the road, I want it to be according to your word, not according to my wants and worries. Even without an angel. Even without an audible word.”
In this particular season, it is harder for me to embrace God’s plan with eager arms and an easy smile. But then I look at the Savior that He sent to walk in our shoes, whom He brought through you, a young girl with a willing heart. I think of how God used unexpected, shocking, painful circumstances to deliver His Son to earth, to deliver us. I know that He is working in us for our good and for His glory. I come to this conclusion: He may call my family and myself to hard things. My thoughts and emotions may be all over the map along the way. Still, He is utterly trustworthy. He always walks with us. His wise purposes and loving plans will be accomplished.
So along with you, Mary, I choose to say, “I am your servant, Lord. Let it be to me according to your word.”