Mother's Day Gifts

Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17

Mother’s Day always sort of stuns me. As I look back over the past 25 years, I shake my head in wonder.

Age 22: I was single, selfish and unhappy, bitter over my parents’ divorce. I strongly believed: (first) marriage is not "happily-ever-after" but "by the skin of your teeth" and you never win in the end and (second) children interfere with marriage, and then pay dearly when their marriage fails. Loneliness and hurt, hidden under hard layers of anger and bitterness, cast a dark shadow on the idea of marriage and family. I would never marry, let alone have children!

Age 24: When I wasn’t paying attention, God grabbed my attention (and He hasn’t let go since)! Once I knew Jesus for Who He was, I turned quickly to Him. When I told one friend the story of my conversion to Christ, she commented, "so you chose to follow Him from that point on." I corrected her: does a starving woman, sleeping in a sewer, having been offered by the most gracious benefactor a warm bed with clean sheets and regular meals, really choose to move?! It was a no-brainer: I ran to Jesus, to the life and light of His mercy and truth, and never looked back.

For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9

Age 27: I had dated a couple of Christian men, but I was still reluctant in my heart of hearts to trust the concept of marriage. Still, getting to know God, I knew His ways were far better than my own. Then I started getting to know Frank. Finally I actually could envision marriage, desire it, and trust that God would take care of my fears and doubts in due time. We married. But when he talked of children and me staying home to raise them, I was quiet. I still couldn’t picture a family.

Age 29: Unrelenting pain led me to several doctors before the problem was remedied through two surgeries. During my weeks-long recovery time, I had a lot of time to pray, meditate on Scripture and think about what had happened. It was possible that I would be unable to have children. Spending that intense time with the Lord, He did something unexpected: He clearly showed me the selfishness of my thinking regarding children. He said they are a blessing and an inheritance from Him! Who was I to "decide" that I didn’t want any part of His blessing? I was humbled and changed in my attitude very quickly.

Age 31: After actively trying to get pregnant for several years, we finally were both tested to see if there were any obvious problems. We both heard bad reports: it was highly likely that we would ever conceive naturally. We were stunned; we grieved. We went to the elders in our church, who prayed over us, per James 5. As much as we did not want to use any kind of medical technology, we figured we’d meet with the fertility specialist and discuss what the options were. So we waited for our appointment to arrive.

Age 33: God gave us a gift we did not anticipate or deserve: the gift of Matthew (whose name incidentally, means gift of Jehovah). I learned I was pregnant only days before our appointment with the fertility specialist. The prayers of our elders and our hearts were answered with the gift of a son! I remember even feeling somewhat regretful when I discovered I was pregnant, because I had doubted God’s care for us and had not proved faithful in trusting Him! Looking back, I understand the timing better: God was giving me what I did not deserve and in no way had earned, whether by my own strength or faith or patience. He was giving me a son, having already given me His own Son, the ultimate gift, which I had in no way earned or deserved.

Age 47: So, Mother’s Day is somewhat stunning to me, even with Matthew now age 14 and Ben age 11. From never wanting marriage or motherhood, to desiring it but being told it wasn’t possible, to God giving us these two remarkable boys. From living my life in hopeless bitterness to living in the nourishing strength of God’s love (and the love of His people). He changes hearts in ways we could never imagine, through circumstances we would never ask for.

And He gives priceless gifts that we could never earn, all for the sake of His glory and pleasure.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15