The Lord delights in those who fear Him, who put their hope in His unfailing love. (Psalm 147:11)
The Lord your God is in your midst, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you; He will quiet you with His love; He will rejoice over you with singing. (Zephaniah 3:17)
What an astonishing mystery, that God truly delights in me! He does not love His children out of obligation, but out of His delight in loving. He has no regrets about loving us, but is glad to work Christ’s life into ours. His is not a reluctant grace, but an eager and selfless love which cherishes us as His own.
How does God’s delight affect my life? For one, it reminds me that in spite of all the sin He knows lives in me (and He knows it more completely than I do), in spite of my smallness and His infinity, I bring Him pleasure. I hold that treasure in my heart like a sunlit smile, confident that no matter what the day may bring, or how unlovable I may feel, my God joyfully loves me.
My Father’s delight also fills my heart with delight in my own children. Because I can trust His love for me, my heart is open to God’s work in me. In the same way, my delight in my children opens their hearts to trust me and the Lord who works through me in their lives. Even as I educate them in academics, or teach them from God’s Word, or model Christ’s character for them, in the end, all of those things will be fruitless if I do not delight in them!
Soil made hard by neglect will never sprout even the healthiest seed; it will remain dormant in dry dirt. But when I pour out my love into my children’s hearts, soaking them with my joy in who they are, their hearts grow soft and hopeful. My delight in them (and in my God) prepares their hearts to receive the good seed of God’s Word and His ways. When they are secure in my love, they can experience God’s love more fully, too.
My favorite columnist, Andree Seu, wrote about delight:
Delight covers a multitude of parenting shortcomings. You may be too strict or too lenient and still come out all right, if you delight in your children. They will know it, for delight cannot be hidden. It finds excuses to ooze all over the place. It seeks a getaway vacation with the beloved when it's not convenient. It asks different questions than duty. Duty says, "I should." Delight says, "I want to." Duty is efficient. Delight tends to be anything but.
What is less efficient than the story of mankind? If it were about efficiency, God would have wiped the plate clean and commenced with more promising subjects. The Bible in its entirety is a love story, a tale of unquenchable delight — His for us, and finally ours for Him. (Sept. 22, 2007, World magazine)Even more precious than Seu’s wise words is the Word of God Himself:
Who is a God like you, who pardons sin and forgives the transgression of the remnant of his inheritance? You do not stay angry forever but delight to show mercy. (Micah 7:18)
He reached down from on high and took hold of me;
He drew me out of deep waters.
He brought me out into a spacious place;
He rescued me because He delighted in me. (Psalm 8:16 & 19)
. . . the Lord takes pleasure in His people; He crowns the humble with salvation. (Psalm 149:3-4)
The Lord delights in the way of the man whose steps He has made firm.
Though he stumble, he will not fall, for the Lord upholds him in His hand. (Psalm 37:23-24)
May God’s delight fill you today with a rich happiness that overflows onto those around you.
Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows. James 1:17
Mother’s Day always sort of stuns me. As I look back over the past 25 years, I shake my head in wonder.
Age 22: I was single, selfish and unhappy, bitter over my parents’ divorce. I strongly believed: (first) marriage is not "happily-ever-after" but "by the skin of your teeth" and you never win in the end and (second) children interfere with marriage, and then pay dearly when their marriage fails. Loneliness and hurt, hidden under hard layers of anger and bitterness, cast a dark shadow on the idea of marriage and family. I would never marry, let alone have children!
Age 24: When I wasn’t paying attention, God grabbed my attention (and He hasn’t let go since)! Once I knew Jesus for Who He was, I turned quickly to Him. When I told one friend the story of my conversion to Christ, she commented, "so you chose to follow Him from that point on." I corrected her: does a starving woman, sleeping in a sewer, having been offered by the most gracious benefactor a warm bed with clean sheets and regular meals, really choose to move?! It was a no-brainer: I ran to Jesus, to the life and light of His mercy and truth, and never looked back.
For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God— not by works, so that no one can boast. Ephesians 2:8-9
Age 27: I had dated a couple of Christian men, but I was still reluctant in my heart of hearts to trust the concept of marriage. Still, getting to know God, I knew His ways were far better than my own. Then I started getting to know Frank. Finally I actually could envision marriage, desire it, and trust that God would take care of my fears and doubts in due time. We married. But when he talked of children and me staying home to raise them, I was quiet. I still couldn’t picture a family.
Age 29: Unrelenting pain led me to several doctors before the problem was remedied through two surgeries. During my weeks-long recovery time, I had a lot of time to pray, meditate on Scripture and think about what had happened. It was possible that I would be unable to have children. Spending that intense time with the Lord, He did something unexpected: He clearly showed me the selfishness of my thinking regarding children. He said they are a blessing and an inheritance from Him! Who was I to "decide" that I didn’t want any part of His blessing? I was humbled and changed in my attitude very quickly.
Age 31: After actively trying to get pregnant for several years, we finally were both tested to see if there were any obvious problems. We both heard bad reports: it was highly likely that we would ever conceive naturally. We were stunned; we grieved. We went to the elders in our church, who prayed over us, per James 5. As much as we did not want to use any kind of medical technology, we figured we’d meet with the fertility specialist and discuss what the options were. So we waited for our appointment to arrive.
Age 33: God gave us a gift we did not anticipate or deserve: the gift of Matthew (whose name incidentally, means gift of Jehovah). I learned I was pregnant only days before our appointment with the fertility specialist. The prayers of our elders and our hearts were answered with the gift of a son! I remember even feeling somewhat regretful when I discovered I was pregnant, because I had doubted God’s care for us and had not proved faithful in trusting Him! Looking back, I understand the timing better: God was giving me what I did not deserve and in no way had earned, whether by my own strength or faith or patience. He was giving me a son, having already given me His own Son, the ultimate gift, which I had in no way earned or deserved.
Age 47: So, Mother’s Day is somewhat stunning to me, even with Matthew now age 14 and Ben age 11. From never wanting marriage or motherhood, to desiring it but being told it wasn’t possible, to God giving us these two remarkable boys. From living my life in hopeless bitterness to living in the nourishing strength of God’s love (and the love of His people). He changes hearts in ways we could never imagine, through circumstances we would never ask for.
And He gives priceless gifts that we could never earn, all for the sake of His glory and pleasure.
Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift! 2 Corinthians 9:15
Three years ago, after having prayed for weeks about what to do with my eldest son, I felt certain that God’s direction was for him to be in a co-op setting, one day a week. I didn’t want to send him to school, but schooling totally from home was no longer the best option for us. After visiting two homeschool co-ops, it was clear which one would work for our family. What won my heart there was the Literature Discussion teacher. "That class," I thought, " is just what my child needs!"
So I carefully read the instructions on the website, filled out the forms, and took my place in a long line in a dim church hallway on registration day.
I was told he was number four on the waiting list.
Hearing this, I quickly pushed past the line, hit the door running and sprinted to the car, my children scurrying after me. Once in the safety of my vehicle, I burst into tears. Not accustomed to seeing me cry like that, the boys said "Mom! What’s wrong?!"
What was wrong was clear to me: I was so sure that God’s desire was for him to be here, in this class, with this literature teacher. And yet, how likely was it that four children would drop out before the fall semester? Either God was going to surprise me — or I had somehow gotten Him all wrong. I suspected the latter.
I was shaken. God guides His children as we trust Him, walk with Him, grow closer to Him. But I had missed something. I was totally confused! How could I school my children, when I didn’t even know how God wanted me to do it?
As I lamented over the phone to my mom, she made a wise and gentle suggestion: "Heidi, you could lead a literature discussion group. And certainly, your homeschooling friends could, too."
And so, after talking with Connie and Lisa and Tricia, we organized our own Literature Discussion groups. They were a bit small with just our families (two doesn’t really make a group!), so we invited other Explorers families to bring their children.
Now, we have nearly 50 children participating in four Literature Discussion groups each month in Connie’s home (the hospitality queen!). When my son finally was accepted into that co-op, I didn’t register him for Literature Discussion. What he and his brother were gaining in Tricia’s group each month was far better.
As for me, my love for children’s literature has multiplied, as other teaching moms have shared their enthusiasm for good books. And what a joy it is to get to know all these young children and encourage a love of reading!
In short, when God closed that co-op door in April 2008, it felt like He slammed it in the face of my vision as a homeschooling mom, and in my confidence and ability to sense His direction. And yet, in the midst of my doubts and confusion, God knew exactly what He was doing. By firmly closing that co-op door, God opened a marvelous opportunity that has multiplied and blessed our family and others as well.
I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Not to us, LORD, not to us, but to your name be the glory,
because of your love and faithfulness. — Psalm 115:1
Godly sorrow brings repentance that leads to salvation and leaves no regret, but worldly sorrow brings death. — 2 Corinthians 8:10
Peter’s Story: Repentance
He had declared his intention, of never denying Jesus. His character was bold; his resolve strong. Even if all the other disciples abandoned Him, as Jesus predicted they would, Peter would remain faithful to his Lord (see Matthew 26:31-35).
He followed Jesus as far as the outer courtyard of the High Priest, where the Messiah faced a sham trial before Sanhedrin. When several servants girls recognized Peter as a friend of the infamous Rabbi, Peter disowned Jesus — not once, but three times. Then the rooster crowed, as Jesus had said it would. Remembering Jesus’ words, Peter crumbled. Broken and weeping, he staggered away into the night (Matthew 26:69-75).
Peter’s repentance is an eye-opening lesson for every believer. He wept beneath the back-breaking burden of his sin and pride, finally admitting that Jesus’ words were undeniably true. He was convicted in his spirit of his sin, and the ugliness of it seemed too much to bear.
It is an easy temptation, when we feel the weight and shame of our sin, to want to hide ourselves from God, as Adam vainly attempted to do in the garden by covering himself and physically hiding from God’s presence. We can’t imagine looking into the sinless eyes of the One we have betrayed; shame tempts us to shut our eyes against the only One who can rescue us from our guilt: Christ!
Peter, thankfully, didn’t fall prey to this temptation. Instead, he ran to Christ. When he realized Jesus was on the shore, he leapt overboard into the water and started swimming toward him! He could not reach the Lord quickly enough. Peter ate the breakfast that Jesus’ hands had prepared for him and his brothers, and then answered Jesus’ painful questions about his love for his Saviour (see John 21:7-17).
Peter’s repentance was complete: he had been convicted of his sin, had grieved over it with a godly sorrow, and was then eager to turn to Christ for restoration. His repentance was visible: he was a changed man! He followed Christ with renewed boldness and a new gentleness "feeding the sheep" as Jesus had commanded. He was humbled and empowered by a better understanding of his sin, and a more certain knowledge of the One who died to save him from it.
Judas’ Story: Remorse
In the very next chapter of Matthew, we read about Judas. After selling out Christ to the chief priests for 30 pieces of silver, he realized their intent was execution. He "was remorseful" and tried to return the blood money to them. When they refused, he threw the coins at their feet and ran out, stricken.
Was this repentance, akin to Peter’s? No, for although Judas’ heart was heavy with guilt, he took it upon himself to remedy his burden by trying to turn back the clock. His grief over his sin did not lead him to Christ, but to his own devices and — ultimately — to his death (Matthew 27:3-5).
Our Story . . .
No matter what our sin may be, no matter how much we try to hide it from the Lord, or try to fix it ourselves, God knows our hearts fully. And He waits with welcoming arms for us to finally look to Him with our sorrow and our sin. His forgiveness is extravagant and powerful; through Christ, His forgiveness covers our every sin, as we come to Him with our honest confession, in a spirit of repentance. He pours out His mercy on us to wash it away, and He grants us His strength to truly repent and walk in newness of life, as Peter did.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace,
that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need.
— Hebrews 4:16
Love moves toward people. It does not leave people alone in their suffering or in their selfishness. (Paul E. Miller, Love Walked Among Us: Learning to Love Like Jesus)
"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (Jesus to His disciples, in John 13:34-35) Could he have made it any more plain? Loving the way Jesus loves is what shows we belong to Him most clearly.
Love is such a broad term in our lexicon. It covers everything from erotic passion to the "tough love" desperate parents show rebellious teenagers. We use the same word to describe our preference for chocolate and our devotion to our children. Love feels a little hard to pin down.
But God pins it down for us in two very tangible ways: His Word and His Son. In His Word, God describes Himself to us, so that we have a full picture of His love. And Jesus, His Son, was love personified, living among men. Jesus literally fleshed out love for us.
A couple years ago, as I was studying John’s gospel, I noticed that Jesus’ love was so very appealing, yet so very different from mine. So I started asking God to help me love others the way Jesus loves. Well, you can imagine how He started answering: I began to see even more evidence of my Lilliputian-sized love, in contrast to Jesus’ limitless love. Then conflict started bubbling up in a couple of relationships, turning up the heat by making love even harder for me! That’s God’s way, isn’t it? Not to wave some divine wand and instantly give me a bigger dose of love to share, but to challenge and stretch my heart, revealing selfish motives in my relationships, offering His power and grace to me to truly love others as I trust Him. Oh, how I want to love His way: with more sincerity, less self-interest, more courage, less comfort-seeking.
Below is an entry from my journal last year, sort of a "Love is" meditation, as I pondered what Jesus’ love looks like in my life. (Of course, 1 Corinthians 13 is a far better meditation on the subject; this is that chapter personalized for me.)
Love is stubborn: it perseveres through rejection and conflict, refusing to let go.
Love believes that God redeems the impossible and transforms beyond anyone’s imagining.
Love hopes when it seems crazy to hope.
Love is willing to suffer long for the good of another.
Love is gentle, yet mightier than anything we possess.
Love sees the truth, no matter how hard it is, and refuses to look away.
Love takes risks without protecting itself.
Love doesn’t draw lines or back away when it hurts.
Love gives according to another’s need.
Love seeks to understand, not to be understood.
Love does not need anyone’s approval, because it already has God’s approval.
Love is not self-conscious; it is discerning yet not critical.
Love does not need to know all the answers.
Love carries the burdens of others that cannot be carried alone.
Love listens to and feels another’s pain.
Love speaks with honesty, without manipulation or hidden agendas.
Love is blind to status and reputation.
Love sees the image of God in each and every person.
Love never fears the worst but always hopes and trusts for the best,
because love trusts Jesus.
Do not fret . . .
Trust in the LORD, and do good;
Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness.
Delight yourself also in the LORD,
And He shall give you the desires of your heart.
. . . (Psalm 37: 1-4, excerpts)
There are days (sometimes weeks) in my life where it all seems overwhelming. Whether I blame a lack of time with Jesus, or ever-shifting hormones, or not enough sleep the night before, that overwhelmed feeling is a weight I carry through the day, burdensome, sapping my strength and my joy.
This morning, recognizing that I’d had several days in a row where life felt like more than I could handle, I cried out to God about it. What came to mind were these words "Do not fret." Admittedly, I had been fretting about something, turning it over and over in my mind, instead of turning it over to my Lord. And I knew that those three words came straight from God’s own Word. I was preparing to run out for the morning, so I opened my Bible on the table to Psalm 37. I figured that when I cam home, I could listen more to what God was saying to me.
After I dropped off my sons and ran my errands, I returned home. Instead of heading straight for my Bible, I switched on the computer, hoping to "quickly" take care of some emails and announcements that had to go out. But the internet wasn’t working (and neither was the tech support’s advice) and before I knew it, I'd wasted an hour. I gave up, overwhelmed yet again! And then I remembered my open Bible on the sunroom table.
Reminding God of how much I needed His help (like He needed reminding!), I went to the table, sat down and began reading.
"Do not fret . . ." it began. And, as I read on: "Trust in the Lord and do good . . ."
I think I'm trusting you, God, but it’s the "do good" part, I prayed. I am weary; I feel overwhelmed with my responsibilities and the challenges in my life right now. You know all too well how weak I am! How can I find the strength to persevere in doing the good You’ve given me to do? (Ephesians 2:10)
I continued reading, and in the next line, God answered my question: "Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness."
There it is: Feeding on Your faithfulness is what gives me the strength I need to do good! Then I asked, What exactly is your faithfulness, God, so I can chew on it awhile? And I knew this answer from years of listening to His Word: He is faithful in loving His children perfectly always, without turning away or holding back (1 John 3:1). He is faithful to fulfill every promise He's made in Jesus (2 Corinthians 1:20). He is faithful to do good in my life, making me more like Jesus step by step (Romans 8:28-29). Even when that process feels painful or overwhelming or sad.
Then in the next verse, God made it crystal clear: "Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart."
Delighting in You means finding my joy in You, giving my heart and mind fully into Your hands -- not giving my thoughts to worrying! You ARE my joy, Lord; don't let me ever forget it! With Your loving, ageless hands, You are shaping my heart so that what You desire for me becomes what I desire for myself.
As I look to God for all I need, my heart becomes more like Jesus’ heart, and I can gladly do what He's given me to do, by His strength!
And suddenly, instead of being overwhelmed by my life, I am overwhelmed by my glorious God.
Repentance is not a turning from one category of works to another (ie, from evil to righteous); rather, it is a turning from human works entirely to God.
Repentance is not so much a doing as a depending.
......Bryan Chapell, Holiness by Grace
Have you ever tried to move a mountain?
Last year, God unearthed something ugly in me, a seemingly immoveable mountain that cast a shadow of idolatry across my heart. (Idolatry: a love and/or holy fear directed to something or someone other than the Lord.) Knowing Jesus to be the Light Who pushes away every darkness, I repented quickly, then grasped Him and held on, determined not to let go until He blessed me (Genesis 32:26).
Every time I talked with God, I told Him about this menacing mountain, and rejected it as best I knew how. To me, it looked virtually insurmountable, even though I knew God to be bigger and stronger. But in the end, I could not pry its tangled roots from the labyrinth of my own heart. I did not know how to repent of this wrong affection! All I could do was keep pleading with God to put it to death, and wait until He worked.
And on a Thursday morning in mid-December, He did.
As if to leave no doubt that He was the one responsible for my heart’s repentance (this wasn’t my own self-improvement plan at work), He answered clearly and dramatically. He toppled that stubborn idol in a way that felt almost tangible. What a release to be rid of it, to experience light chase away shadow! By His persistent grace, I’ve been free since that day and His light in me is nurturing a stronger faith.
If you’ve tried repenting from deep passions and emotions in your heart, you get me: the deepest convictions, the firmest resolutions, simply cannot transform your heart. You choose to bite your tongue instead of speak in anger, or take your jealous thoughts captive to Christ (2 Corinthians 10:5), or meditate on Scriptures to deal with your anxiety. Yet, while these choices are a necessary aspect of repentance, they do not accomplish repentance. As much as God tells us to do those very things, we also recognize that, in and of themselves, they lack power to alter our innermost desires. God alone changes our hearts.
The One who rescued us from the prison of sin and judgment when we were first saved, is the same One who continues to rescue our hearts as we walk with Him! By our faith in His sacrifice, Jesus has declared us holy — and He also declares He will continue to make us holy, by His life within us (Hebrew 10:14, Philippians 1:6, 1 Thessalonians 5:23-24).
Just last week Ben came to me, confused about Jesus’ words on mustard seed-sized faith (Matthew 17:20-21). He was writing a paper on the passage, and could not fathom this faith that could move the mountains we watch from our window. "Mom, how can anyone do that?"
We don’t measure faith in tablespoons, I pointed out, like we would with the actual seeds in my spice drawer. It’s a spiritual reality, a confidence in Someone we cannot see (Hebrews 11:1). Jesus was talking about something far grander than global shifting of peaks and valleys: His Spirit’s power, which moves spiritual mountains that loom large and look unconquerable. God Himself is the mountain mover.
I think Ben got it, because his paper’s conclusion was this: "Things in life and in people’s spirits happen that are bigger than moving mountains. And God has enough power for that."
"Nothing will be impossible for you."
Jesus, in Matthew 17:21
