I marveled
as I watched my eldest, robed in blue, swagger up to the platform: How on earth
did this miracle baby grow into a 6-foot, 18-year-old young man, ready to grab
the world by its tail and head to college? Is he really ready to handle his own finances, manage his life, move
forward into adulthood - without me?!
I’m not
whining, really! If Matthew still needed me to take care of him, if he couldn’t
function without his mom and dad, if he felt too ill-equipped and insecure to
venture beyond his childhood home, then we would not have done our job. He is ready to navigate the challenges of
life with discernment –to live out his unique God-given calling, relying on His
wisdom, and knowing when to seek wisdom from teachers, friends, mentors (and
yes, hopefully, sometimes, even us!).
In short,
maturity for a young man leaving home is, at least in part, related to growing
in independence from his parents.
So, what is
maturity in God’s dictionary?
I know how I
would have answered 10 years ago:
Doing more “right things” and fewer
“wrong things”
Not being tempted any more
Emotional stability, no matter my
circumstances
Having a more upbeat, extroverted
personality
Serving more, reading the Bible more,
praying more, _______ more (fill in the blank!)
But that’s
not it at all, I know now. Maturity is less about the external measurements we
might take of ourselves or others; it’s more about knowing Jesus deeply,
growing in dependence upon Him more, and upon myself and others less. Of course,
this will be reflected in the externals: behavior, attitude, demeanor. But
those externals are not the measure of maturity in Christ.
My relationship with Him and dependence upon Him are.
Here are a
few depictions of maturity from God’s Word:
Being filled with Jesus, so that we are not swayed by the
variety of ideas and false teachings that assault us every day. Maturity means
our words are characterized by truth and love. (Ephesians 4:13-15)
Trusting
that the God who called you to Himself is always at work in you, maturing you from
your first day to your final one on earth. (Philippians 1:6)
An active dependence upon God, who
works in us, in our desires and choices for His glory. (Philippians 2:13)
Seeing
the bigger picture when our faith is tested by suffering. Maturity means
choosing to continue to trust God in spite of what we see, enduring through the
hard times as well as the easier days. (James 1:2-4)
Walking
steadily in faith and growing closer to Jesus, and choosing to thank God daily along
the way. (Colossians 2:6-7)
Exercising
faith in Christ in your daily life, which causes faith to grow strong, and
multiplies love for others (2 Thessalonians 1:3)
In
short, spiritual maturity is related to growing in dependence upon Jesus.
Jesus
Himself (undeniably the most
spiritually mature person who ever lived!) depended upon the Father in this
way. In John 5: 19 & 30, He said:
“I
assure you: The Son is not able to do anything on His own, but only what He
sees the Father doing. For whatever the Father does,
the Son also does these things in the same way . . . I can do nothing on My own. I judge only as I
hear, and My judgment is righteous, because I do not seek My own will, but the
will of Him who sent Me.” (See also John 6:38, 12:49-50, 14:10,
17:4)
Matthew, my
firstborn, even as you grow into independence from your earthly mom and dad,
may you grow in dependence upon your Truest Father, who will always be with you
(and whose Spirit lives within you) wherever you go.
May you
continue to grow: in responsibility, in love and compassion toward others, in
your skills and abilities, in problem-solving, in facing the challenges that
lie ahead. And may you grow in Christ: in trusting Him more and more in those
responsibilities, in the love you share with others, in your wisdom and
abilities as you navigate your life with an ever-deepening dependence upon Him.
